I can feel the difference

between eating well and eating poorly

full - stuffed
thirsty - parched
sustained energy - peaks and valleys
satisfied - wanting more
normal - inflamed

It is the penultimate that confuses me so much. When I eat more bad food, I want more bad food. When I eat less bad food and I want less bad food.

It is the last that lets me know which is good for me and which is not. I can feel the inflammation in my joints. In my hands. My skin feels stretched. I feel a warmth in my body that isn't quite right. It seems to buzz with anticipation of something. Likely more sugar.

It is as though there is space all through my body. When I eat poorly, that space is filled and stretched and I am stuffed. My attention is drawn to the space. When I eat well, sure there is some space inside of me, but I am not stretched and I am not stuffed. My attention is drawn from the space. I just am.

It is a strange thing, food. I hope to have a better relationship with it yet.

It is also interesting to note how my eating habits relate to how I feel.